Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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