Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
