I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
