why didn't you poke me back
I want to make a zoo with you.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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