a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
