He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
where are my eyebrows?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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