She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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