I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
