Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
