i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just pynch a tree in the face
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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