i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize