butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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