try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
