my sisters under your porch take her home
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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