Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I need to sanitize my soul.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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