I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
