I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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