im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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