Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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