dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
