Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
