I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
