Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
