Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
