I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
