If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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