I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
