I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
