Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
