I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
