office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
