Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
