I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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