so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
