Where did you get a picture of my penis
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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