I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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