glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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