WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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