He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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