just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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