we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
