whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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