Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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