Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
