I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize