I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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