I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
