Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
how drunk are you?
Several
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
