he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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