And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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