its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
