I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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