I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize