I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
