I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
