kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The best revenge is premature balding
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
These tits shall not be calmed
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
