you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
