Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
