I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
