lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
