just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
