I'm really into asian looking animals
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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