Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
